Hogwarts, meet Breana Sherwood
by vinelady
Summary: Sometime after the final Battle, Severus Snape feels that he needs a bit of a vacation. He enlists the help of his mischevious friend, Breana Sherwood, to take over his classes. She tries her very best to cause trouble and ruin her friend's reputation.
1. Chapter 1

"Are you sure you want to do this?"

The bat-like potions master gave me an incredulous glare. "Am I sure that I want to go on vacation?" he sneered.

I rolled my eyes. "No, are you sure you want _me_ to take over while you're gone?"

He looked at me appraisingly. I knew what he would see: a short little blue-eyed girl with her blond hair up in two pig-tails on the side of her head. I also knew that he knew my looks were deceiving.

He smirked. "Out of all of the potion makers I have met, Breana, you are definitely not even close to being at the top." I stuck my tongue out at him. "On the other hand, I know that you will do well here. Albus will certainly approve." Severus Snape rolled his eyes. "While not the best, you are most assuredly far from the bottom."

I sighed. "Fine, I'll take over your job. How long will you be gone?"

"A few years," he responded in a calm tone, "maybe I won't ever come back." I rolled my eyes. That was so typically Severus: giving vague answers just because he knew it would irk me. And it did, so I stuck out my tongue at him. "Well," he said with finality, "that settles that then."

He made as if to leave but I stopped him with a tug on his sleeve. He looked down, giving me a questioning glance. "Have you already told the headmaster?" I asked innocently.

He frowned down at me and answered with a short "No."

I smiled up at him and said "I don't suppose you'd let me pretend to be you." Severus raised one eyebrow: a signal to continue talking. I smiled mischievously "If you don't mind donating some hair and polyjuice potion, I think I could have some serious fun with the staff and students."

He sighed, rubbing the bridge of his nose. "If I say no, you will find some other way won't you?" I nodded. "Then I'd rather know that you will be safe while doing… whatever you will be doing." I hugged my friend around his waist and was about to thank him when he said "The condition being that you will take multiple pictures of whatever havoc you wreak, and send them to me post haste." I giggled.

He trimmed his hair, giving me enough material, and showed me his store of polyjuice potion, warning me to replace whatever I used. Then, he threw a handful of floo powder into the fireplace, stated his destination, and was gone. I wouldn't see my good friend for a while.

It all started a few years after the end of the war. I was finishing up my apprenticeship to a potions master by the name of Roy Mathis when Roy had told me that there was going to be a get-together between him and some other potion masters and would I like to come? Seeing as how I had only one test to pass before officially becoming a certified potions mistress myself, and wanting to see all of my master's associates, I said yes.

The party itself was actually rather boring. Roy spent all of his time mingling with people thrice my age and I didn't know anyone. I did however end up striking up a conversation with a certain potion's professor from Hogwarts. I'm not sure if I even remember what comment started us talking, but we ended up discussing the properties of my favorite potion. It wasn't until later that night that I had realized that the creator of said potion had been none other than my companion from earlier on.

I owled him immediately, saying something along the lines of: _Why you manipulating git! You could have at least said that you were the one who bleeding _invented_ that potion! Idiot!_

Then he wrote back, (and I swear you can practically hear the sneer): _Yes, well, _(and here's the sneer) _it isn't exactly _my_ fault, Ms. Sherwood, if you are an exceptionally unobservant young lady._

From there started our (at first shaky) friendship, if you can call it that. Our notes were never overly friendly. In the beginning it was just a correspondence between potion masters. Over the years, however, we both began to write out about our lives. It was sort of like a diary, actually. We both knew each other only through letters, and it was easier to let out our frustrations and problems to people who wouldn't judge us, because we weren't very close. That was how I learned so much about Severus, and I dare say, that's how he learned so much about me.

One day, when I was done fully with my education and had grown tired with my job as a potions research assistant, I wrote to him about wanting a new job. He wrote back about how he deserved a long vacation. I asked if he wanted me to become his substitute teacher while he was gone, which led me to be standing in his office as I watched him floo away.

I added a hair to a vial of polyjuice potion and gulped it down, grimacing at the foul taste. I stumbled over to a doorway; guessing (and rightly so) that it was the bathroom. I looked at myself in the mirror, watching my face transform itself into Hogwart's greasy potions master. I smirked at my reflection and it smirked back at me in a decidedly Slytherin way. This was going to be _fun._


	2. Chapter 2

The next morning I found the plan for the different years along with the schedule. It seemed that Severus was nice enough to write it all down for me, so that I would know what to do. I was kind of nervous. School was starting in two days, and even though I knew how to act, I was still worried about someone finding out before I had time to have fun.

That morning I also started on a batch of polyjuice, knowing that it would take about a month to brew. I wanted to make sure I had enough to last me as long as I needed. I filled a flask with polyjuice and Severus's hair, so that I could drink it whenever it was needed, without having to come down to the dungeons for it. It was sort of like the faux Mad-eye Moody I had been told about. I wondered if anyone would notice.

I took out my wand and cast a tempus charm, it read 9:35. I had some time, considering that I had missed breakfast already. I would have to get used to waking up earlier than usual. I found the passage to Severus's private chambers where he said it would be. I looked around and laughed as I walked through the parlor and into the man's bedroom. The decorations were so obviously Severus. To describe it in a word: gloomy. Everything was dark, and there were no windows, being in the dungeons and everything.

I found what I was looking for: Severus's closet. I raided it, looking for appropriate Snape-looking attire. Soon I was decked out in the billowing black robes that he was famous for. I practiced billowing about for a minute before catching sight of myself in a mirror and collapsing in a fit of giggles. My face had Severus's look of pure concentration, however I had forgotten to take out the pig-tails, so I looked so very_ silly_.

I left soon afterward, to explore. I couldn't very well pretend to be Severus if I didn't know where anything was. Severus's letters did help though, and I actually had a very good memory, so by the end of the day, I knew my way around, including most of the secret passages. I was also sure that the portraits (that ignored me for some reason) were reporting everything I did to the Headmaster. Dumbledore. No, Albus, I would have to get used to calling him Albus.

Two nights later found myself sitting at the head table between Professors McGonagall and Flitwick as Dumbledore made his annual welcoming feast speech. We had watched as all the cute little— I mean all of the first years were sorted. I kept Severus's stony expression on my face. I was actually having great fun in scaring all of the students. I knew some of the students, from Severus's letters and I was almost looking forward to the next day's classes.

I spent three weeks playing at being Severus Snape. We kept up correspondences and at my request; he sent me a memory of the average day in his class so I could copy it. I think I did pretty well, if I do say so myself. I was the exact replica of the snarky, greasy git that had become my friend, _and_ I was thoroughly enjoying myself. Scaring the daylights out of kids, while not my usual pastime, did fulfill the mischievous part of me that had started this plan in the first place. For a while, that is.

So, three weeks into the new school year, I started my plan, codename: 'freak-everybody-the-bloody-hell-out.' The first day I didn't do anything drastic, just something to make everybody do a double-take. I transfigured my- or should I say Severus's- usually black robes into gray robes. It was so hilarious, watching everybody gawking at me. All day long, I kept catching people staring at me. Many a house point was lost that day. The next day, I was wearing all black again.

I had set up devices throughout the school, monitoring the students and staff, and pictures of their reactions were sent post haste to Severus.

I decided to wait before I did anything else, to lull them into a false sense of security. I felt vaguely like the Weasley Twins that I had heard of from Severus many a time.

When I wasn't plotting, teaching, eating, or grading, I was in Severus's potions lab working on some creations of mine. I took all kinds of notes on the potions and sent them off with my letters to Severus to get his opinion. Of course, the things he complained the most about of my potions were the names. Now, I always thought that I had a pretty good imagination, but Severus brought it to my attention that the names were pure silliness and that my imagination needed to be severely cut down upon.

He said that naming my newest sleep potion 'drowsy drugs for small children and the criminally insane' was a bit much and that I should not name my hallucination-inducing potion 'If your shoes aren't singing to you yet, you should probably try another sip.' I wrote back to him calling him a spoil-sport, and he told me that if I wanted to be an idiot that I wouldn't be able to publish anything with his name attached ever again. I could almost see his smirk while reading those lines.

It went on like that for a while. I would do something decidedly odd, and watch everyone's reaction. Most of the things would have been in themselves funny to the students, if it weren't for the fact that the dreaded potion's professor was the one doing it.

Once, for a whole week, I wrote only in rhyme. The directions for potions were written in rhyme. The grades on essays were written in rhyme. After the week was up and I was sending the pictures and a note to Severus I _still_ wrote in rhyme, without even thinking about it. That however was from habit more than anything. And I apologized profusely in my next letter to my friend.

Another time I transfigured the walls in the potions class room into aquariums and kept piranhas in there happily for a fortnight before only one, very full piranha was left.

For Halloween I went the entire day in a grim reaper costume. Oh the looks of terror I inspired on that day.

The funny thing is no one said a single word to me about any of my odd behavior. I mean, of course I never brought it up, but even Minerva and Albus (I had gotten used to saying their names) avoided the subject and held private conversations that they didn't know I was privy to. I was of course _not _snooping, but I didn't take down the recording devices so I was privy to _all_ secret meetings held in public places (read: halls, classrooms, and the great hall, not to mention Albus's own office). I wasn't actually sure _what_ they thought, but whatever it was, it made Albus's eyes lose their twinkle whenever I scowled in his direction, especially when I was flaunting my newest pursuit into the odd.

My favorite trick was when I took to wearing a simple wedding band on my left ring finger. I would play with it sometime while gazing off into thought, and whenever Albus or Minerva, or even Filius or Poppy caught me at it I would blush and scowl at them. Even more whispered conversations came into being after that.

This, of course, made for some interesting letters to and from my friend Severus Snape. I think he was amused, though he never said so outright, but he did ask, in a round-about way, if I could send him some of my memories of what was going on. I sent them all.


	3. Chapter 3

As Christmas holiday was coming I got a letter from Severus asking (in that round-about way of his) if I would like to spend the holidays with him. To plan for more 'pranks,' of course.

So, the first day of Christmas holidays found me on my way to Albus's office. I arrived at the gargoyle, said the password, and walked up the staircase. After gaining entry to his office, Albus bid me sit down, but I declined. "Well, my boy" Albus asked me cautiously, as if I was a loose cannon (which I supposed that I was trying to be) "What can I do for you today?"

"I would like to take a short vacation to visit…friends." My focus did not waver and I made sure to keep my voice steady, as I knew Severus did.

Albus gaped at me for a second before replacing that with a serene gaze and said quite jovially "Of course, my boy, have fun. I suppose I will see you in a few weeks."

"Indeed" I replied coolly, and left. I was soon in Severus's rooms and from there I flooed to where Severus was staying.

He greeted me with a nod, not even doing a double-take at my (still Snape-like) appearance. I mean, most people would at least have to take a while to get used to someone else wearing their face, but not him. Nothing surprises Severus.

"You're late" he said, bending over a cauldron. I stuck my tongue out at him, but didn't say anything because I knew that that was how he said "Hello, nice to see you."

"Albus and Minerva keep looking at me like I'm going to explode any minute." I complained, taking a seat near him. I could feel my body reverting to my actual form and I didn't stop it. I was on vacation after all.

Severus added an ingredient to the cauldron and marked something down in a journal with his quill. "_Will_ you explode?" he asked with no interest in his voice, though I knew that he was curious.

Blond hair framed my face and I quickly transfigured the loose robes I was wearing into something my size. "Not yet," I answered, "I'm trying to think of something really good that will throw them all off their game."

What Severus did next was not a snort, because anti-social potions professors (and Slytherins to boot) do not snort. If I had to compare what he did to something else, however, I would have to classify it as a snort for lack of a better word. He looked at me, taking his eyes off his potion for only a moment, just long enough to say "I do not envy Albus having _you_ working against him" with complete sincerity. However, he did seem to derive some perverse pleasure at having me thrust upon the headmaster that he hadn't always agreed with, to put it kindly. I laughed.

My stay with Severus was very calm. We would spend the days talking about potions or his and my colleagues. Christmas was a quiet affair; we exchanged gifts and had a house-elf prepared feast. It was delicious.

Near the end of my stay with my friend, he finally brought up the subject of my escapades at Hogwarts. "I have been thinking." Severus started, in his usual manner. I motioned for him to continue. "Well," he began again, perpetual scowl in place, "I thought that it might be in your best interest if I were somehow able to communicate with you at all times, so that if anything unexpected comes up, I would be available to give advice, especially when involving old enemies." I didn't point out that some of those enemies probably didn't think of him as an enemy because he already knew it, though he wouldn't say it.

"Yes" I agreed without hesitation, "that would be nice. What did you have in mind? Two-way mirrors?"

He sighed. "No, those are not always reliable. I have, however, recently come upon an old text involving at two-way telepathic connection that is created through a variation on the Pepper-up potion."

"Great!"

Severus sighed again. "Breana, you don't even know what it entails."

I shrugged. "I trust you."

He nodded, showing that he understood my agreement. "I will tell you anyway. It is a connection of the mind; we will be able to communicate with each other, and if we wish, see through the other's eyes, with their permission, of course. We _won't _be able to read the thoughts that we aren't projecting, however. Do you know occulmency?" I nodded "It won't be a problem then."

The next day he started on the potion. I did not offer to help (knowing that it would be seen as an affront on his skills), and he did not ask. The night before I left for good we downed the potion. I heard an echo in the front of my skull, asking if the potion was working. I grinned happily and sent a response in the affirmative. The next morning I took a gulp of my polyjuice, grimaced, said goodbye, and flooed back into Severus's chambers.

As I sat down in a comfortable armchair by the fire I realized something. I hadn't even asked where we were. I didn't know where I had spent the last few weeks. I laughed out loud at my own stupidity, changed into something dignified (by Severus's ideals) and left for the Great Hall in search of breakfast.

And, indeed, I did find what I was looking for. The tables were filled with delicious looking breakfast material, and as I was early enough to be almost alone in the Great Hall, I dug into my breakfast with gusto. Or, as much gusto as I could without causing the few people in the room to have heart attacks.

As the students and teachers trickled in, the seat to my left was taken by Albus. He turned towards me and said "And how was your vacation, Severus? I hope it was enjoyable?"

"Indeed" I answered shortly. I didn't actually mind him asking, but Severus would probably think something along the lines of 'manipulative old fool, he should mind his own business,' so I said what I hoped would show my lack of interest in the conversation.

However, I guessed that Albus wouldn't leave it there. He didn't. "Oh?" he went on, as if I had said something of interest. "This friend of yours, would I happen to know him?"

Without looking Albus in the eyes, I mentally shouted for Severus to watch this, thinking (and rightly so) that my answer could cause a reaction that he would want to see. I said coolly "No, I am afraid that you don't have the pleasure of knowing _her_."

From my right, I saw Poppy whip her head around (from her conversation with Filius) to stare at me. To Albus's left, I heard a choking sound and soon saw Minerva peer at me from around Albus's form. Albus just looked at me with a twinkle in his eye, as if all was right with the world.

I cackled maniacally, (in my head), and felt Severus agree with the sentiment, if not with my choice of showing it.

Minerva said "The friend you stayed with over Christmas Holidays, was a girl?"

"Yes," I said, a warning in my words, "Is that a problem? Cannot I have friends who are female?" I knew Severus was asking the same sarcastic question at her in my head.

Minerva looked uneasy, shocked. She sputtered a little before finding her wits and said "No, that's fine, I just assumed that you would be visiting a fellow potions master, not a _girl_."

My vision turned red for a second, a rushing sound in my ears. Now I was _angry_! I pulled myself up to my full height (forgetting that I was no longer a short, blonde woman, but a tall, menacing-looking man) and was about to give her a piece of my mind, when I felt a calming touch to my brain. Severus said: _Calm down. Breana, she is in shock. She is not thinking about what she is saying. Do not give the game away so soon. Remember: you are right now not a little blonde chit, but a snarky potions master, use that power._

The only reply I could think of was: _You called me a chit! You prat!_ He just chuckled lightly.

I answered Minerva in a steady voice, though every word dripped venom. "I did not know, Minerva, that being _one_ completely ruled out any chance of being the _other_. That _girl_ happens to _be_ potions mistress." And with that I was on my feet and billowing out of the Great Hall like a bat out of hell. And I could proudly say that I was doing a good job of it too.

I didn't even look back to see how Minerva had reacted to my statement. I had been calmed slightly by Severus's words, enough to play my part, however I was still angry over the absolutely _sexist_ comment made by one of my fellow females. To think that someone whom Severus had lightly praised as being open-minded and un-prejudiced, would not only make a bigoted remark, but one against her own gender. I was _fuming_!

I stormed down through dungeons to my classroom. I opened the door, walked inside, slammed the door, and strode forward to begin setting up for my first class. Every one of my actions was punctuated with anger. I found myself hurling the materials around the room, hearing them crash and crack. My chest was heaving and I felt like my blood was boiling. I had enough mind to cast a silencing charm on the room before I let loose and _screamed_ my fury to the heavens.

How _dare_ she? What, am I not _good_ enough to be a potions mistress? Just because I'm a _girl_? Does she think that gender matters to the bubbling cauldron? Does the wooden spoon prefer a masculine hand to stir it, rather than my dainty female one? Does the fire care the sex of the one who coaxes its flames? Will the ingredients not mix if the person standing over them is a woman? Will the components of the potion jump and scamper away at my touch? Will I find it impossible to chop nettles into a fine grain, or crush the sopophorous beans beneath my blade? No, so why should people care the gender of the ones brewing the potions?

I heard a mental sigh. I hadn't realized until then that I had been projecting my thoughts in my frenzy. Severus spoke; _I don't think that Minerva meant it like that. It is to my chagrin that I realize she probably saw some nonexistent implication in your words. I believe that she was under the impression that you, or rather I, was spending time with a girl in an _intimate_ way. That is, opposed to spending time with a colleague. I rather think that you caused quite a stir back there. I'm sure that my reputation shall be forever ruined thanks to you._ His voice was stern, but I heard the underlying kindness. I sighed in compliance and thanked him. I could practically hear the scowl as he said _you're welcome_ and he exited my mind.

Officially calmed down, I raised my wand and set the room to rights, repairing all the damage I had done. I also lowered the silencing charm, just in time for me to hear the pounding of feet, alerting me to the presence of the third year Slytherin and Gryffindor _demons_ that I had to teach for the next two hours. I sagged in defeat, knowing that I had to teach those _monsters_ right after an emotional breakdown. I would sneak away after classes for a pick-me-up. That thought only cheered me enough to be able to straighten up, re-apply my Severus-scowling mask, and open the door.


	4. Chapter 4

The last of the sixth year students were leaving my last class of the day. I had skipped lunch and had instead opted to eat in my chambers, sitting in front of the fire. I would also forgo dinner, I decided, and left my classroom. I exited the dungeons, and then the school. I made my way to Hogsmeade, knowing that as soon as I reached the end of the wards I could apparate to my destination.

I didn't have rounds until midnight, so until then I had the time to visit an old friend of mine, Nathan Forbes. He always cheered me up.

I felt a slight tingling as I walked through the wards and as soon as I crossed them I twisted on the spot and apparated.

The house in front of me had only one light on, the one in the front room. The darkness surrounding me made it slightly hard for me find my way to the front door, but I eventually reached it.

I did not knock, but immediately opened the door and walked in. The only person who knew that this house was here was me, so I felt relatively safe. I closed the door behind me after I crossed the threshold and lit more lights around the house with my wand. I called out: "Nathan!"

In the hallway before me appeared a ferocious-looking black leopard. He bared his teeth at me in silent laughter. I stepped forward, my wand at my side. The leopard tensed, and in the blink of an eye he was sailing through the room, only to land on top of me, pushing me to the ground.

I stared into the luminescent yellow eyes above me. They watched me with obvious enjoyment. I felt his sand-papery tongue against my cheek and suddenly I laughed. Scratching the beast behind the ears I said "Nathan, how many times have I told you not to tackle me every time I step through that door?"

He shook his head and said in a slightly growling voice, "Too many times if you think I'll actually listen." The slight rumbling in his throat was his way of laughing and as he got off of me I joined his laughter with mine.

He sat back on his haunches and I sat on the ground in front of him. He tilted his head to the side, appraising me. "You look different" he growled. It wasn't a bad kind of growl; he just had a hard time keeping to human sounds.

"Mmm" I agreed. "I'm taking my friend Severus's place at his job. He's on vacation." He nodded and let out a jaw-breaking yawn, showing all of his very white, very frightening teeth. He slid to the ground so that his head landed in my lap. I set to work scratching him behind his ears. He purred a deep rumbling sound. I relaxed. This is what I had come here for. To not have to talk, to be able to just _feel_ another person's unquestioning love. Not romantic love, but love nonetheless.

Nathan was born, and has always been, a black leopard. He, however, is magical, as shown by his ability to talk and understand the human language. However, he was not born into his magic. He grew into it. When I say this, I mean that over the centuries that he has been alive he has over time gathered magic into him.

Every person, creature, and plant come into their existence with the ability to hold magic. Wizards and witches are born already holding that magic. Other beings, however, also have the capacity for that magic, and over time it collects. You will find that if a muggle lives to be over three hundred years old, that they will have in them enough magic to do what wizards and witches do naturally. That's why the really old trees are used more often for wands, because they already hold magic in them. You will find however, that no humans and almost no beasts ever live long enough to find that magic. Nathan is one of the exceptions.

Nathan told me once that he was born and raised as a pet for a roman emperor; he has since then traveled the world, and found that after a few centuries had passed that he could speak and make things happen without any visible effort. He made many friends over the years, from all over the world.

Oddly enough, I met him for the first time at the zoo. My parents had taken me to see all the animals at the zoo for my birthday. We walked all day and finally we got to the big cats section. This was before I knew I was a witch (I'm muggleborn), so when I saw Nathan looking at me and a voice in my head telling me who he was, I kind of freaked out. My parents took me back to our home in the country. The next day the escape of the black leopard was on the telly and the day after that, I found him in the woods behind my house. This time he explained (aloud) ,what was going on, more quickly. Since then we have been friends.

He taught me some of his tricks also, so I can do just a little more than most witches and wizards; nothing spectacular, nothing that would help me in a fight, just some things to make my life a tad easier.

He decided that he was tired of exploring and when I came into my inheritance I bought him this little house in the middle of nowhere. So, he stays here most of the time. It is nice to have a steadfast friend by my side (figuratively speaking) all the time.

I checked my watch. It was 11:30. I told Nathan that I had to leave, said my good-byes, and apparated back to Hogsmeade, ready to do my patrol of the school in a better state than earlier in the evening.

I wandered around Hogwarts in the dark. One of my Nathan-taught tricks was that I could sense everything around me. Not really seeing in the dark, it was more like I could feel where everything was around me without actually touching anything. It was really useful, especially when patrolling for curfew-breaking teens. Severus had told me much about a certain student by the name of Harry Potter who used to sneak around under a cloak of invisibility. Unlike Severus, however, I would have been able to know immediately if he was in the vicinity, without the use of my eyes. It was almost a shame that he no longer was a student here. I would have loved to catch him sneaking around, not that I had anything against Potter, but I thought it might make Severus happy.

As I stalked the hallways I saw a light coming towards me. It was two people. Taller than most of the students, but I wouldn't rule out the sixth and seventh years. As it turned out, however, it was Albus and Minerva. When I realized this I paused. They had yet to see me, so I waited until their light fell on me.

"Hello Albus, Minerva." I nodded and made to move past them but Minerva's gasp brought me up short. I paused again, looking at her with curiosity in my eyes. When I saw Albus's shocked face too, I asked "What is it?"

Concern marred the headmaster's face. "Severus," he said in a worried tone, "what happened to you?"

Minerva was pointing to my chest. I followed her gaze while saying "What do you mean what happened to me? Nothing happened to- Oh." The front of my robes had claw marks from when Nathan had tackled me. With a flick of my wand the tears disappeared, leaving un-blemished cloth in their wake.

I looked at them with an untroubled expression. "Just a run in with an old friend." Albus would find whatever horrible creature my friend bade attack me, I just knew it, so before he could say anything I went on with "His pet is a little overprotective. Nothing to worry about. No harm done" and continued on my way, as if uninterrupted.

When I watched the recordings of that scene later, I saw that after I walked away, Minerva turned to Albus as if to ask what was wrong, but he just shook his head and asked to no one in particular "What is going _on_?"


	5. Chapter 5

The next month, maybe month and a half, found me acting the perfect Severus Snape. I was snarky, I was indifferent, and I was greasy. Most of the inhabitants of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry had relaxed with my apparent relapse into Snapedom. In fact, only Albus and Minerva continued to watch me out of the corner of their eyes.

This relapse wasn't because I had run out of ideas, nor was it because I was just bidding my time. Instead I had come across a possible solution to the problem that had come up with while making my latest potion. I spent every day waiting for the demons (read: students) to leave so I could go back to my cauldron and notes. I took all of my meals in the lab and slept only when absolutely necessary (which I'm sure wasn't healthy).

Only around the time that I realized that Albus was really beginning to worry did I find the answer. I marked a final note in my journal and headed off to sleep. The next morning I sent a letter off to Severus outlining the potion and its properties, and finally I could rest my mind.

In the Great Hall at dinner that evening I was doing my best to convince Albus that I was truly well. He still seemed worried about me, but what could he do?

I was walking down a third floor hallway in early spring, thinking about my latest correspondence from Severus. He had given me a few good ideas (all of his ideas are good, much to my eternal vexation) on my potion and I was planning on how I should go about experimenting.

I sensed two bodies in a near-by broom cupboard. I opened the door swiftly and found two seventh years, a Hufflepuff and a Ravenclaw, snogging as if there was no tomorrow.

I sneered at them. The Hufflepuff boy gulped loudly. "Twenty points from Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw each." The Ravenclaw girl had the good sense to look abashed. "Now go!" I growled, pointing down the hallway. They scurried off.

I continued my calm walk down the hallway until I spotted something out of the corner of my eye. I turned to look out of the nearby window. Albus, Minerva, and Filius were heading quickly towards Hagrid's hut. Near the hut I saw Hagrid, but what I saw near him, with leash and collar on, almost made my heart stop. Attached to an old leather collar and leash was my old friend, the black leopard, Nathan Forbes.

Not thinking about anything other than my friend I flung open the window and jumped out. Using another trick Nathan had taught me, I used my magic to support me as I fell down to earth. I didn't hear the gasps as a group of students saw me descend. I landed on the balls of my feet and without a pause strode purposefully after the headmaster's entourage.

I reached Hagrid and Nathan the same time the other professors did. When I joined their little group, every person turned towards me with curiosity in their eyes. "What is going on?" I asked them.

Albus turned towards me and said "Rubeus found this leopard in the Forbidden Forest heading towards the School. We thought that it would be best to capture this creature and to determine if it means to do harm."

The professors turned back towards Nathan. I could _swear_ that the imp was smirking at me. "Merlin's Beard!" I groaned and walked towards Nathan, ignoring my colleague's words of protest and concern.

I looked towards Nathan and said "What do you think you're doing?" Hagrid looked taken aback. "Not you!" I said scathingly at Hagrid. Moving closer to Nathan I asked the question again. Nathan just bared his teeth in his silent laugh. I groaned and mumbled "Imbecile!" under my breath.

I turned to face Albus and company, placing Nathan a little to the left and behind me. I saw that those assembled had their wands trained on Nathan. Albus asked "Severus, what do you know?" without moving his eyes from Nathan.

I rolled my eyes. "Everything, Albus, I know everything." He looked at me, startled, before returning his gaze to Nathan. I swung my arm out towards Nathan. "This happens to be the leopard of a friend of mine. I don't know why he's-" I felt Nathan's jaw clamp down lightly on my still outstretched arm "-here."

Everything froze. I could see the wheels spinning behind Albus's eyes. Before he could do anything though I said, "I apologize. I meant that this leopard is a friend of mine." He released my arm and I rolled my eyes. I also lowered my arm and looked over at Nathan who had one of his eyebrows raised at me.

"What?" Minerva asked, slightly hysterically. They looked at me like I was off my rocker. Too bad this hadn't been planned; it had certainly stirred them up more than I ever did. I sighed. It was sad really. A leopard had beaten me at pranking.

I looked at Nathan with a scowl. He shook his head at me, turned to Albus and said in the growling voice of his "Nice to make your acquaintance. I am Nathan." He bowed his head to Albus. Minerva whimpered and Filius fainted.

"Excellent, Nate! You really thought that one through, didn't you?" I said sarcastically. Crossing my arms over my chest, I looked down my nose at him in disdain. He smacked his tail against the back of my legs. My lips quirked upward against my will, but I quickly regained my mask.

Minerva looked at me, asking quietly "A real leopard, or an animagus?"

I turned my gaze back to Nathan, he shook his head. His deep growling voice was heard again "There has never been an animagus form that could talk, that I am aware of."

Albus's eyes were twinkling full-strength. He lowered his wand and kneeled in front of Nathan, the better to look him in the eyes. "How?" was all he seemed to be able to ask.

I looked around as Nathan gave a summarized account of his life. Minerva was listening intently while at the same time trying to awaken Filius. I refrained from reminding her that she was a witch, and thus could just _enervate_ him.

Hagrid was looking at Nathan as if it was Christmas.

We had amassed a small audience of students as well. Thankfully they had all stayed within the Castle's walls and as such couldn't eavesdrop.

I caught the last of what Nate was saying "… decided to visit my friend, Severus. May I stay for a while, Headmaster?"

Albus nodded, a small smile on his lips.

Nathan gave me a look saying 'Well? Go on! Lead the way!' I scowled at him but my eyes were laughing. I led him back to my chambers so we could have a nice long chat.

The next morning I sent the memory of the previous day off to Severus. I led Nate down to the kitchens for a private breakfast.

He came with me to classes that day. I stood looking out over my seventh year N.E.W.T. students, giving them instructions for a certain draught. Next to me stood Nate and I scratched the top of his head subconsciously.

A Gryffindor boy raised his hand.

"Yes, Mr. Ashcraft?" I sneered.

The boy gulped but didn't back down. "Professor? You have a Leopard next to you."

"I know that, Mr. Ashcraft." I said through gritted teeth.

A Slytherin girl piped up with a "Why?"

"Ten points from Slytherin for being impertinent." The girl raised her hand. I scowled. "He came to visit." The issue dropped.

Nathan stayed with me for a month. He came to classes with me. He ate next to me in the in the Great Hall. We talked about everything. One day he was gone. It's kind of a shame. He was such a good way of freaking everybody out.

The school year was coming to a close. It was the last week. Everyone was taking tests. The seventh years were saying there last goodbyes to each other.

Albus and Minerva had taken to having conferences about me in the Headmaster's office. They planned on bringing all the old order members and friends back to discuss what could be wrong. The first meeting would be the night that the students left. Teachers are required to stay for a fortnight to finalize grades, so they planned on confronting me then.

The students left. I retired to my chambers to watch the meeting. I called for Severus to watch as well.

When it seemed that everyone had assembled, Albus started the meeting. "Friends, I know this may seem an unworthy reason to gather, but Severus…" he trailed off, the twinkle in his eyes disappearing.

Minerva said "Severus is not acting himself. We are worried about him."

"What's wrong with him?" asked a woman that Severus identified as Molly Weasley.

As Albus explained, in detail, Severus pointed out everyone to me. It seemed that indeed everyone had gathered at Albus's request. There was: Molly and Arthur Weasley; Bill and Fleur Weasley; Ron and Hermione Weasley; Charlie Weasley, Fred Weasley and George Weasley; Harry and Ginny Potter; Teddy, Tonks and Remus Lupin; Kingsley Shacklebolt; Sirius Black; Luna and Neville Longbottom; Hagrid; and Mundungus Fletcher, for some unknown reason.

_Wow! They go all out for you, don't they?_ I asked, smiling. Severus growled.

They spent most of the meeting pondering on Severus and why he, I mean why I could be doing what I was doing. Fletcher even proposed the idea that he, or I, was possessed. Fletcher was told to leave and please not come back.

I didn't listen for too much longer. I knew that everyone would be staying in the castle for the next few days, to talk about me. I wondered what they would tell me when I saw them all, or would they all just hide from me. I fell asleep wondering about it.


	6. Chapter 6

The next morning I awoke and made my way to the Great Hall, figuring that if they all wanted to see what I had been up to, I would oblige them. I was wearing a pair of faded jeans and a wrinkled white oxford shirt. My hair was out of my face, tied with a ribbon behind me, and I was bare-footed.

Actually, to tell the truth, I had mostly just wanted to wear something really comfortable for once; comfortable to me, the muggleborn girl, not for Severus. Still it would have been worth it to wear this, even if it was uncomfortable, just to see everyone's shocked expression.

In the middle of the Great Hall was a large round table, fitting everyone staying here. Everyone had already gathered, there was only one seat left: between Albus and Sirius Black. I pulled the chair out and fell into it unceremoniously. All conversations stopped as I sat down among their ranks. I realized that probably everyone here was in on it. Whatever 'it' was.

I hunched over my porridge and ate in silence. Finally, people started going back to their previous topics of conversation.

I really was tired. I had gotten up early to start brewing, though it wouldn't actually be done until later this evening.

I could tell that Black kept glancing at me discreetly. I looked over at him and growled a low "What?"

"Nothing!" he bit back at me.

Severus was watching. He said _We don't get along._

_Really? I couldn't tell_ was my reply. In case you didn't notice, ladies and gentlemen, that was sarcasm.

Aloud I said, "Black, what are you doing here?"

Before he could answer, the man on my other side cut in. Albus said "They are here for a vacation. I'm giving everyone the chance to visit each other at their old school."

I narrowed my eyes at my porridge.

From somewhere across the table I heard the voice of Luna Longbottom nee Lovegood. "Professor Snape. I must say I like your new look." Her voice was dreamy. I looked up and directly into her eyes.

Suddenly I felt another force, another being, overlapping hers. It was playing havoc with senses. My head fell into my hands and I groaned. I was getting a massive headache.

I stood abruptly from the table, knocking over the chair in my wake. I turned, blindly, using my senses to find the door. My hands covered my ears. My eyes were screwed shut. Pain and confusion radiated around me. I groaned again and stumbled against a wall.

I heard voices, concerned exclamations of "Professor!" and "Severus!" as I slid to the floor. I curled into a ball, hiding my head in my hands. Oddly enough, the first person to reach me was Luna.

She put her hand on my shoulder and the contact caused the opposite reaction than when I had looked at her. I relaxed, letting my body sag against the wall. "Professor?" She asked gently.

The people around us were watching with looks of fright and confusion.

But, it was a time for celebration, couldn't they tell? I looked at Luna and my eyes crinkled with a smile. I heard gasps. I placed a potion-stained hand against Luna's abdomen. Her husband stepped forward but she held him off with a wave of her hand. My eyes glazed over, feeling the life growing beneath my hand. I could feel it, what the other life was: a baby.

"Congratulations." Luna smiled as I said those words. I felt the beat of life against my hand. "She will be beautiful." I moved my hand, sliding it to the side. "I wish her happiness." I collapsed into unconsciousness.

I awoke in the infirmary. I could tell because I was surrounded by muffled voices and the color white.

Luna was sitting next to me crooning a lullaby while rubbing circular motions on her flat stomach. I blinked rapidly, the scene at breakfast coming back to me.

Suddenly Severus was shouting at me. _You idiot! How dare you do that? What exactly happened? What's wrong with you? What makes you think that you can just collapse like that for no reason? _

I sighed internally and smiled. _It's nice to know someone cares._ Severus harrumphed but settled back.

Luna looked up and saw my eyes open. "Professor?" I nodded. "Ah, good. When you collapsed I was afraid the Crumple-Horned Snorkack had gotten to you." I blinked "I thought they lived in Sweden. What would they be doing here?" Luna smiled dreamily, "We believe they migrated here." Just then Poppy walked through the door. She came over to check up on me, all the while talking to me. "How did you know that Mrs. Longbottom-" "Luna" said person put in. "-Luna was pregnant?" _Severus? Any ideas?_ I asked. _You are on your own with this one._ _Git!_ He chuckled. Poppy was looking at me expectantly. Luna thankfully answered for me, "I'm sure that the Professor will tell us when the time is right. I can wait." I closed my eyes. "Thank you." I said quietly and drifted back into sleep. 


	7. Chapter 7

When I awoke again, Poppy released me, saying that if I felt sick I should come back again. I left without a word. In my rooms I changed once more into Severus's normal attire. Back in my lab I checked on my concoction. It was in its third stage. I was released just in time to add the final ingredient. Then I would let it simmer stirring it counter-clockwise on every hour and clockwise every half-hour. By five this evening it would be finished. I looked in on the headmaster's office. They were discussing me and my revelation. Longbottom, the husband, kept looking at Luna as if she were a goddess, stroking her stomach, and kissing her. Luna, however, took it all in stride. I watched until late in the evening, stirring my mixture when needed. I laughed at them occasionally, at some of the things they were saying. I noticed, as I stirred my brew for the last time, that Mr. Lupin and Mr. Potter both exited the room stealthily. No one seemed to notice. I was getting bored with watching them talk. I closed the viewer and began bottling the brew I had been working on all day. I kept it warm with a charm and sat down to read. I didn't get very far in the book, because soon I felt the presence of two people outside my door. I made a note of where I was in the book and set it down on a table as I stood up. I opened the door slowly, and saw no one. Turning back, I walked over to my chair, sat down, and began reading again. I left the door open. I had put two and two together. Potter and Lupin left the meeting. Potter owned an invisibility cloak. Two invisible people were waiting outside my door right now. It wasn't that hard to figure out. They hadn't moved. I called out, "Come in, Potter, Lupin." They moved forward. Potter removed his cloak. Looking surprised, Lupin asked "How did you know it was us?" "Magic." I said blandly, closing my book again. Potter scoffed. I waved my hand towards a couch across from me. "Please. Don't stand on my account. Sit down. Relax." They moved warily towards the seat. They sat. I got up and instantly they were on guard, but I just picked up my bottled brew and brought it back to the seats. "Hot chocolate?" I offered. Potter declined but Lupin said "Yes, please." I _accio_ed two mugs. Filling them both, I handed one to Lupin. He was about to sip when I said "Wait. Lupin, if you were to gain the opportunity to be cured of lycanthropy, would you take it?" He frowned, "Yes." He took a sip of my own creation: Monsieur Lindquist's hot chocolate and Lycanthropy curative. "Why?" then, looking down at his cup as if surprised, "Mmm, this is good." I took a sip from my own mug. "Yes it is, thank you. Ah, and no reason, just wondering." "Did you make it yourself?" he asked. "Yes. I added cinnamon." I held a look of indifference on my face, but on the inside I was very happy. Potter gave Lupin a significant look, as if to remind him that they had to leave. Lupin quickly nodded. They both stood up to leave and I bid them goodbye, not wondering, because I knew that tonight was the full moon. I settled back into my chair with my book.

I left my chambers just as the sun was setting. Lupin and his accomplices would already be down at the shrieking shack. I used the secret passage to Honeydukes and from there apparated to the shack. I opened the door as the last vestiges of light were sinking below the horizon. I walked into the house and had to resist the urge to explore, I didn't have the time. I quietly made my way up the stairs and quickly found the room housing them. They didn't notice me at first. Lupin and Black were talking with their back to me. Potter was looking out the window at the descending darkness. Black was saying, "I can't believe that you've already built up a resistance to the Wolfsbane potion." Lupin sighed. "I know." Potter closed the curtain, leaving the room in partial darkness before he cast _lumos_. As he turned back to his godfather and friend he saw me behind him. He gave a start. "Snape." He snarled, "What are you doing here?" Lupin's and Black's wands were trained on me. I sneered. "I'm just here to watch the show." Lupin looked stricken. He said in horror "Snape, I'm going to kill you. Leave!" I raised an eyebrow. "Oh really? I never took you for a murderer." I calmly made my way over to a moth-eaten wing-backed chair and settled into it comfortably. "Snape. Leave now!" Potter put in. Black sneered "You aren't safe here, Snivellus, you sorry excuse for a death-eater spy!" I buffed my nails against the front of my robes, bidding my time. I gave him a pointed look, a look that said 'yes, we've been over this, you hate me, I don't care.' Lupin stepped forward. "Please, leave, before the moon rises." I sighed and stood up. However, instead of leaving I walked over to the window and checked my watch. In a flat voice I said "The moon has been in the sky for a good three minutes" and pulled the curtain aside. The moonlight fell across the floor unhindered. The three men in the room looked at it in fear. Nothing happened. "See?" I said gently. I let the curtain drop down again, cutting off the light. I quickly walked from the room, assuming that celebrations were in order for those three and not wanting to interrupt. _Breana. That was... kind… of you. _ I silently agreed. I decided to walk back to Hogwarts, the better to enjoy the view of the full moon.


	8. Chapter 8

When I walked through the front doors the first thing I saw was Lupin being hugged by his wife and son. Two identical hands grabbed both of my arms and led me unresisting to the Great Hall. I looked up at the twins and asked "Which is which, if I may?" They blinked owlishly at me. "I'm Fred-" one of them started. "-and I'm George." The other finished. I nodded. In the Great hall they bade me sit down in the only chair. Albus came up to me and said "Severus. Please. Tell me what's wrong?" I frowned. "I didn't expect a kind of Spanish Inquisition." Mrs. Weasley nee Granger frowned at me. The others exchanged glances and I sighed. "Do none of you watch Tv? Really!" Hermione Weasley said quietly "Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition?" I nodded quickly. "Good enough." "I believe," Minerva cut in quickly, her Scottish accent lilting, "that we have gotten off-track." _Breana?_ "You're right, Minerva." Albus said. _Yeah?_ I asked Severus. His voice was too calm to be natural. _Your leopard is in my house._ I blinked rapidly. _What?_ Albus asked me something but I wasn't paying attention. _Your leopard is in my house. Your leopard is convinced that I should come to the school. He says that it will be more interesting._ _You must be kidding me._ Albus asked the question again "You _are_ alright, aren't you, Severus?" as if he had just thought of it. _Your leopard- Nathan, he corrects me- says that with me in attendance it will be funner. I'm flooing over. But only to get him off my back. _ _I'm going to be bested in pranking by a leopard again._ _Nathan says after the fiasco is over that you should visit him again. I agree, if it will keep him from coming to me himself. He knocked over many of my vials, my house is a mess._ _You're a wizard, fix it with magic._ He just grumbled. Albus opened his mouth to ask me if I was okay, again. "Yes!" I snapped at him. "I'm fine. Stop asking!" Albus frowned. Tonks butted in with "Did you really cure Remus?" Suddenly everyone was silent, waiting for an answer. I looked off into space with one of my fingers tapping my chin, as if in thought. "Remus, Remus, did I cure Remus?" my voice was a soft muttering, as if I really _was_ trying to think of the answer. Then I held the finger up, as if I had just realized something. "Yes," I replied quietly, "It must have been that lycanthropy cure that I gave him, that's what must have cured him. Yes, that must've been it." Ron Weasley gaped at me. "Mental! He's absolutely barmy! Off his rocker!" I scoffed, then answered seriously. "Yes, it is by my doing that Lupin is rid of his curse." "So you can cure, Bill?" The voice held a French accent. I recognized the veela blood in Fleur, but it didn't affect me (of course). I nodded. She smiled up at her husband. "How did you give it to me?" Lupin asked softly, wide-eyed. "Hot chocolate." I answered in an emotionless voice. Potter gave a start. "That, that hot chocolate you offered us earlier? Wait, but you drank some too. Does that mean you were a werewolf too?" I sneered at him "No, you imbecilic dunderhead! It really is hot chocolate! Or it tastes just like hot chocolate, anyway. It doesn't affect you if you aren't a werewolf." Albus was stroking his beard. He said "interesting" quietly, probably thinking about the implications of such a potion. His eyes were twinkling madly. "Do you have any left?" he asked slowly. I rolled my eyes. _Do I have any left? Humph!_ "Yes." _Indeed!_ Severus agreed with me. Then, I saw through his eyes where he was: standing right outside the Great Hall doors. His hand touched the door handle; he turned it slowly and pushed the door open. I had a quick moment of vertigo when I saw myself through someone else's eyes. Then, I was back in my own head. No one had even noticed that he had come in. I raised my voice in fake indignation and said "And who are _you_?" Everyone turned to face Severus, giving me time to grin widely at him before I schooled my expression again. Black was looking between the two of us as if watching a tennis match, as were most of the others. We scowled at each other. "That's what I want to know." Severus growled between gritted teeth. Fred and George stared at us with mounting horror. "Oh no," George started, "there—" "—can't be—" "—two Snapes! This—" "—is just—" "—too—" "—cruel!" Fred finished with a wail. Minerva's lips thinned in anger. "Now, tell me, what is going _on_?" "How should I know?" Severus and I answered at the same time. We turned once again to look at each other with distaste. I stood up to better defend myself (or, at least, that's what it would look like) and drew my wand, just as Severus drew his. We pointed them at each other with a mask of cool indifference settling on to our features. _I feel like cackling maniacally right now. _I projected to Severus. I barely caught the quick quirk of his lips, but I did hear his throaty chuckle resound in my head. I had to keep myself from smiling myself. Albus walked between us, hands raised, and said "Now, now, I'm sure we can figure this all out, no need to start firing hexes at each other." We nodded in sync and replaced our wands in their holsters attached to our forearms. "Perhaps we should have this conversation in my office." Albus advised. "I don't see why we would have to." I said. "After-all," continued Severus, "everyone here will just follow us there as well." "So, why bother moving at all?" I asked Severus. "Perhaps he wants a lemon drop?" guessed Severus. "I would rather like some tea." I said, my cheek resting on my hand, I saw across from me that Severus had subconsciously mirrored my movements. "However," Severus raised an eyebrow, "we could have a house-elf send the tea here, again, why is it necessary to be in the headmaster's office?" Albus looked as if he would interrupt, but I plowed on. "Possibly it is because there is a connection to the floo there. So that when he finds out who the imposter is, he can call the aurors to come get the fraud immediately." We appraised each other for a moment. Turning to Albus, Severus said "Yes, I believe we should have this conversation in your office, Headmaster." Our walk up to the office was slow. Everyone had their wands trained on us, except Albus, who walked in front of us. We could hear Fred and George conversing behind us. They were trying to guess what would be the 'test' to show which of us was real. Fred guessed a potions test. George guessed an insult contest. Fred said 'singing contest.' George asked why. Fred shrugged. In Albus's office we sat in front of where Albus sat at his desk. "Lemon drop?" he offered, everyone politely refused, and then "Tea?" which Severus and I both said yes to. As we sipped, Albus said "I believe some questions are in order. If I were to ask which of you is the real Severus Snape, you would both claim yourself, correct?" We nodded. "Then, I will just have to ask you questions that you should know, if you answer incorrectly then you must be the fraud." We nodded again. "First, your mother's name?" "Eileen Prince." We answered at the same time. "Your father?" We scowled. Neither of us liked his father, the abusive git. "Tobias Snape." "Your birthday?" "The 9th of January, 1960." "What is your childhood home." We both frowned. "Spinner's end." "What is your patronus?" "A doe." We both answered slowly. "Will you show us?" He asked pleasantly. "Yeah, that'll work," cut in Weasley (Ron). We scowled at him in unison. We brought our wands out and shouted out "_Expecto Patronum_!" while thinking of our happiest memory. Mine was a memory of a wonderful summer day with Nathan. Two ethereal does shot out of our wands. The stood a moment, playing with each other before they dissipated. _What an odd coincidence_ Severus pointed out, as he had many time before. _Just goes to show that I was _meant_ to pretend to be you._ Albus smiled benignly and pointed to Severus. "You are the real one." I brought anger to my face. "And how did you come to _that_ conclusion?" "Your wands." Albus answered calmly. I looked down. Where Severus's wand was 12 ½ ebony with dragon heartstring, mine was 9 ¼ willow with thestral tail hair. I looked at Severus. _The jig is up._ _Indeed_ was his silent reply. I let a chuckle escape my lips. "Why didn't you just ask to see our wands in the first place?" Albus smiled knowingly. "Wouldn't you have said no?" I shrugged. Black spoke up, "So who're you?" His wand, I found, was pointed at my neck. Severus tensed next to me, but with a silent _S'okay_ he relaxed. "You may call me Sherwood." Minerva stepped forward. "How long have you been posing as our potions master." The same anger I felt at the end of Christmas holidays resurfaced. "I _haven't_ been _posing_ as your potions master. I may have taken Severus' place, but—" Severus's hand on my shoulder cut off my tirade. My face was a mask of fury and I knew that I would have kept on going until I had worked myself into a frenzy, but thankfully Severus stopped me. "Breana," he hissed into my ear, "She is not putting you down as a potions mistress. She is merely angered that you have been tricking her for the past nine months." "Okay," I answered cheerfully, my anger having deflated during Severus's explanation. Minerva, however, squawked and practically yelled "What?" The Weasley matriarch spoke up "You've been pretending to be a professor, teaching young children for _nine Months?_" She screeched the last part. I winced and placed my hands over my ears. Severus rolled his eyes. _Trust Molly Weasley to be most concerned with the well-being of the children. Not the fact that I had been gone for nine months and no one knew of it._ I giggled at Severus and he pushed me away from him in mock-indignation. That of course only made me laugh harder. I just imagined what it looked like to everyone else. One Severus giggling while the other was actually being not only civil to the first one, namely me, but being friendly too. I sank back into my seat, my hand over my eyes to block out the light and try to compose myself. That was how I knew when my polyjuice potion began to wear off; I felt it. I quickly transfigured Severus's robes into something my size as I shrunk. I looked up at everyone's reactions. Severus's mask was slipping when confronted with everyone's expressions. I saw his lips twitch before the indifferent professor was back. I think the only one who wasn't surprised was Luna. I was sure that she had known from the beginning that I wasn't Severus. 


	9. Chapter 9

I looked around the room at the gaping-fish-people. "What? Haven't any of you ever seen a little blond potions mistress that has for the last nine months posed as a snarky potions professor?" Everyone shook their heads. A small smile lit upon my lips. Ah, I did love the dramatics. "Breana," Severus cut in chidingly, "you're being unnecessarily cruel." "Sorry," I said to the whole room, "My name is Breana Sherwood, friend to Severus Snape. I have been teaching his classes while he was on vacation. Or retirement. I'm not exactly sure." "Well," conceded Molly slowly, "I suppose if _you _were the one teaching them then its fine." "WHAT?" I screamed indignantly, to the shock of everyone there. I distinctly heard Severus say "now she's done it," but I ignored him. "Do you think that I can be immediately trusted just 'cause I'm a little girl. No. Stop judging people on looks alone, for Merlin's sake. I was placed in a position of authority and trust while not being trustworthy. I insist you send for the aurors at once. I am to be arrested for impersonating a Hogwarts professor." "But… but…" Molly stuttered, a look of shock clouding her face, as well as the faces around her. I turned to Severus and said, my face a look of mounting anger, "I really hate these people. How can you work with, or be near them. They're all sexist pigs." Severus clutched his stomach as he laughed. I don't believe I'd ever heard anyone laugh that happily ever before. I knew that he hardly ever let any of his emotions show. I believe that that was the reason he laughed so hard, built up emotion does that to you. Of course, this broke everyone from their reveries. "Breana," he gasped out once his laughing fit had ended. "For Godric's sake, just let them believe you to be a harmless chit, and keep yourself from being arrested. I cannot believe you would actually insist on being arrested." "But, I shouldn't be trusted just because I'm small." "No," Severus agreed without delaying, "you should never be trusted for your looks alone." "What do you mean, Severus?" Minerva asked her Scottish brogue heavy. "I mean," he stated calmly, sneering, "that you should count your blessings that Ms. Sherwood here never attended Hogwarts. I don't believe the castle could have withstood her attempts at pranking. I'm not sure _we_ would have survived. She is much worse than the marauders or the boy-who-lived could ever be." Potter and Black shouted and indigent "hey!" but I was sure that it was for different reasons. "I for one," continued Severus, "am glad that she is on my side, and not working against me." "A prankster, you say…" Black muttered while stroking his chin in thought. "Oh, no you don't." Lupin said, looking at Black. "No more pranking for you." I giggled beneath my breath, but I knew I wouldn't take up any offers Black had of pranking. I worked alone… or with a leopard, but whether he counted as another person was really neither here nor there. "What a pretty name." I heard Luna say somewhere to my left. "Breana, I think I rather like you more as a Breana than as a Severus." "How sweet!" I cooed. "But I agree, no offense Severus, but I think I've been more of a Breana than a Severus." Severus made a valiant effort not to roll his eyes, but his will wasn't strong enough, and his eyes turned skyward before looking forward again. Dumbledore said, "So, now that all of this has been straightened out, and the real Severus has been discovered, can I expect to be seeing our resident potions master back, come September?" There was an odd twinkle in his eye, reminiscent of a mischievous child rather than an esteemed headmaster. Severus sniffed and raised his chin so that he could look down his nose at the man. "Actually, I believe I will keep my current status of 'Retired' and perhaps open my own business, one where I will not have to be around imbecilic children day in and day out." McGonagall looked shocked that anyone would ever think of retiring from such a fine job so young. Luna smiled dreamily and kissed her husband. Dumbledore said, "Does that mean that I should instead be expecting a young potions mistress back to teach come September?" I smiled toothily. "If you'll have me, Headmaster." Dumbledore held out a hand which I readily accepted. "Welcome aboard, Professor Sherwood." The twinkle in his eye was as bright as ever. 


End file.
